I recently corresponded with a writer from I AM & CO who was inquiring about tactics to maintain long distance relationships that are destined for the long haul.

Specifically: What’s the best way to maintain a healthy long distance relationship when there isn’t an end in sight? How can you stay present in your everyday life without completely derailing your routine? 

I had this to say:

When you are in a situation – good, less than good, or indifferent – that requires a long-haul commitment, one tactic for success is to establish a pattern – a habit or routine. However, just like daily workouts, establishing a pattern or habit doesn’t have to mean “boring.” It may take a bit of planning and some sweat equity, but a little bit of effort can go a long way with helping you stay connected to a long term goal. Not surprisingly, these are some considerations one must weigh when in a long-term relationship — that you want to see succeed – for the foreseeable future.

For romantic couples, establishing patterns does double duty. You are working on checking in with your partner and staying connected, as well as working on maintaining intimacy. Making time to communicate regularly without distractions is one key aspect, as is making time for physical intimacy.

In today’s technological world, sexting and a romantic date are pretty seamless. You can bump up the intimacy by prioritizing the physical – kinda like you would do for a sexy in-person date. Set a time, get dressed up, make a meal, and incorporate sex toys with a strong visual impact into the mix. Like anything though, it takes effort and commitment to keeping the connection going.   

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